Forgotten Love

The clouds that day were the color of a baby swan’s feathers. They floated with ease across the sky. The sky behind them was a bright blue and here the clouds were the only inhabitants of the great blue expanse.

You stand straight, like a wheat stalk in a field of grain, only here, you are alone. The yellow grass lies low from the drought that began before you came to these plains, hills rolling out around you until you can see no farther. There are no trees, not a single flower or shrub around. The sun is above you but it is not cruel, the breeze that slides across your back gently is cool and constant. You are silent.

You look down at yourself. You are wearing Jeans but they aren’t tight or loose, they are comfortable. Your shoes are tennis shoes that you bought on discount and your socks are short and white. You are wearing a jacket that has two pockets on the chest and buttons down the center. It is not thick because you are wearing a shirt underneath.

Around your wrist, there are two bracelets, one is proof you knew how to get where you are and the other is proof you know how to get where you’re going. All you hope is that you’re headed some place where you will know how to be, because that is always your hope. In this field of dry, yellow grass, it’s easy to know how to just be. You wonder if you have ended your journey and consider resting now.

Before the thought passes from mind to body a mother deer with two children appear at the top of the hill in front of you, slowly grazing as they roam forward. There you stand, alone, surrounded by nothing but plains and these three deer. Out of the corner of her eye, the mother notices you flinch and raises her head. She looks at you and watches with caution, as her fawn continue to graze obliviously. Her ears move forward and back, listening to the beat of your heart and your ehxhale, waiting for you to move, but you cannot move, you stand still. The irony is starting to seep in as you also wait, your eyes wide, your mouth half open like an animal as it sees light crossing its path, frozen.

The deer wander closer to you until they are right at you. The mother comes up to you, sniffs your chest and face, and walks away. The children follow and soon they have passed over the hill behind you. The expression on the mother’s face as she came up to you remains engraned in your mind’s eye. You realize she understood you, she looked at you and when she looked into your eyes she saw your heart, she saw your pain, your sadness, and as she walked away she gave you the forgiveness and love in the empty language of the universe. The tounges still runs through your head. When the deer are long gone, you turn around. You search the horizon and suddenly it is all gone, you see a gray wall illuminated by the sun’s light through fabric.

You sit up and realize you are wide awake, the memory of the deer still clear in your mind, the mother’s eyes looking right into yours. You saw her saddness, the tears she could not cry. You feel your own tears of love for her, and for the universe, pushing at your eyes but you see the light through the curtain and you stand yourself on the blue carpet of your room and forget.

Posted in Stories by Preston on April 25th, 2008

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